Letters to My Four-Year-Olds, Part I

Today is the last day my twins are four.  I wrote them each a letter on this last day of being four.  Here is my letter to my daughter.

Dear Sofia,

Before I had you, I always daydreamed about having a little girl.  A girl to adore, a girl I would love, and a girl who would become my best friend. When you came into the world, oh, you did not disappoint. You were exactly everything I ever wanted in every one of my daydreams and everything I wanted that I didn’t even know I wanted. You had pink, flushed cheeks, and a smile to melt away every worry in the world. You have come into your own; you are the girl of my dreams.

You are everything I ever imagined and so much more than that. Since the moment you were born, you have always been laid back and happy. Your giggles fill the room and infect every person around you. You smile as if happiness is at the core of everything that you are; I could just stay in your glow of giddiness and effortless laughter forever.

I love to watch you when you don’t know I am watching. Your imagination runs wild, and your dolls and princesses come to life in your hands. You act out their magical lives and I listen to your animated voice narrate the stories that emerge at your fingertips. Your creativity unleashes, and I am amazed by you. I watch you as you emphatically direct your own play of characters, as the plot thickens. I love that you can create a world in your mind and nourish it with your almost five years of experience.

You love to color. Your most asked questions is, “Can I color?”  I don’t know any other four year old that can sit there for hours, surrounded by crayons, markers, and colored pencils and color picture after picture with such meticulous attention. You’ve started drawing this last year, and your dad and I are seriously in awe of the things you can draw.

Last week was your holiday program. You sang a duet about Hanukah, and your dad and I just couldn’t be prouder. You have a way about you, that smile, that awareness of being a performer, it is a talent that cannot be taught.

In a million ways, you remind me of me. I’m pretty sure you are just a mini mold of me. I hope, when you are older, this is not insulting. I just see so much of me in you. I remember the day you were born, your dad holding you, and having it feel so surreal because I felt like he was holding a mini baby version of me.

I have so much hope and anticipation for you and what lies ahead. I know that you will be loved by everyone that meets you. You are easy going, kind, so lovable, sweet, positive, and your love of laughter is too infectious not to want to be around. You love your family and have a selflessness about you that makes you unique from other four year olds.

You love “everything pretty” as you put it, which includes tutus, skirts, dresses, flowers, pink, glitter, sparkles, tiaras, heels, princesses, ballerinas, fairy wings, jewelry. You squeal with delight when your baby sister has on something adorable, and say, “you are soooo cute!!!!” You do a super, super adorable shy tilt of the head and smile when someone tells you you look beautiful. You love to sing and dance.  You usually can’t be bothered to wear anything that isn’t super girly. You are appalled at the thought of having a pajama day, even when you are sick.

You are brave, and even when things are scary, you can handle them. You try to put on a brave face, even when I can see the emotion in your eyes. You know when your brother is upset and needs to have his way, and you let him have his way and are nurturing and compromising in that way. Yet, you are decisive and unfaltering in your choices. I love this about you.

You love your “pretty things” but are not consumed by materialism; last Christmas, when we asked you over and over what you wanted, unlike the usual laundry list of things other kids may ask for, your list consisted of one thing, “Jasmine.”  You have self-control.  If you eat cake, you will stop when you are done, even if that means leaving on your plate a mound of frosting.

Sofia. You are beautiful beyond words. Under the glitter, tutus, pink, and heels, what I see is a beautiful soul filled with laughter, freeness, creativity, imagination, talent, strength, and a wonderful energy. I can’t wait to see what you become and how you flourish in your element.

You are my every daydream come true. Thank you for letting me watch the wonder that is the Sofia Show unfold. I love you more than anything and will always be here to cheer you on as you go down this journey. You tell me you want to be a chef and a doctor like mommy, but whatever you decide, I’ll be here to support .

Every night, I tell you I love you to the moon and back, and you tell me, “I love you more than that.” Then I tell you I love you more than that, then you tell me you love me more than that, and on and on we fight.

So let me just tell you, I love you more than any “more than that” times infinity and beyond. No matter what, no matter where, no matter when. I love you more than that.

Your best friend, biggest fan, and mom always and forever and more than that.

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